I have had a couple of workouts since the last post, but I didn't post them here. Still not working out as much as I'd like. I've gotten busier at work, so it's harder for me to workout during the day. As of tomorrow morning I am waking up early and working out first. The only reason I have had the momentum and the courage to face my latest obstacles is because of consistent exercise. Working out intensely and frequently really helps calm the flames of anxiety down to a manageable level. I don't want to lose that momentum now.

Since my last post, I have been reading more from Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding. IT's a helpful resource in understanding my perfectionism and how that perfectionism leads to avoidance behavior and overall paralysis. I decided to attack the problem full-on and I have focused my effort on not only clearing my spaces, but keeping them clear (which is the greater challenge). I have gotten rid of over 300 books, four boxes of clothes, and about 15 bags of trash. And I'm only getting started.

One strategy from the book that I have found immensely helpful is the idea of only dividing the things you're trying to clean up into 3-4 piles instead of trying to "organize" everything as I put it away. You saw my office in the previous post. That mess built up because of "not knowing where to put things" or "not having the time to really organize everything right now." I let go of the idea that I should do it all right the first time or never do it at all. I put all my work stuff together (still a big jumbled rat's nest of cables), had boxes for trash, a box for ebay and a box for donation. It was a LOT easier to only divide things up into just those categories while frequently telling myself that I would organize my work stuff later, after I had finished with my macro organization in the rest of the house. Before, I got way too involved in micro-organizing everything, so the job just felt overwhelming. Just having 3 or 4 categories really helped overcome the overwhelm feeling.

So I've kept you waiting for the photos. Here are the rooms after I cleaned them with no help from anyone else, which is a very important part of the process, I might add. Having help reduces the amount of responsibility you take for making the decisions about what to do with the "stuff." Not having someone else to rely on forces me to make the decisions, and face the anxiety, myself. So far so good.

Ok, ok! The pictures:



First thing I attacked was my bedroom. Got rid of over 300 books (what you see is what I kept, so yeah, I have a book thing going on).


Here's the office/workspace now. So much more comfortable! I actually look forward to going in there in the morning and closing the door. I can really focus on my work now and I enjoy it! Can you believe that?


One more view of the office.

These photos were taken about a week ago. I am happy to report that both my office and my bedroom still look like this. New personal record for cleanliness!

The new cleanliness hasn't been without problems or anxiety, however. I'll write more about that in my next post.... And I promise, I will work out between now and then, and I will post about it!

Tags: ocd, clutter, hoarding, organization

Well, I'm back! I have to admit that I have not worked out since my last entry. It's been a week, I know! That last workout fried me, and on Tuesday, I found this documentary that has changed my whole outlook. Here's the documentary:


POSSESSED from Martin Hampton on Vimeo.

I watched that video and realized that if it wasn't for Banu cleaning up after me, I could be in this documentary. There are a few areas of the house that Banu doesn't touch. This is what it looks like when I'm left to my own devices:



That's my office. I work from home, most of the time.



Another view of my desk.



The nice bookshelf Banu got me for my birthday last year.



The basement



My nice collection of boxes. Empty boxes.



My cable organization method.



My nice workbench in the garage. "Everything looks stacked up, at least." Yeah, that was Banu.



And finally, one more shot of my cable organization method.

As you can see, I have a bit of a problem. And the main reason it's not worse is because I live with a (mostly) patient type-a personality wife who does a fantastic job of cleaning up after me. There are certain areas, however, that she won't touch, and those are the areas I've documented here.

On the same day I took these pictures, I called a therapist who specializes in OCD (I have other symptoms that are on the OC spectrum) and set up an appointment with her. I also purchased this book: Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding.

I can hear some of you saying, "Don't you think you might be overreacting?" That's a fair question, but no, I'm not. If you talk to anyone who has known me for a long time, they'll tell you I've had a problem with clutter since I was about ten years old. I have also had a problem with some other OC spectrum problems, but I don't really want to go into that here.

"Why are you sharing all this stuff? It's kind of personal..." That's true, too. I am sharing it because I am excited that I finally have a string tying a lot of my personal frustrations and obstacles together. I feel empowered by the idea that I can finally understand what's going on in my brain and do something about it!

I'll keep you posted here about my progress and about what I learn.

I have already made some progress. I'll tell you more about it in tomorrow's blog!

P.S. I'll also be getting back to working out starting tomorrow!

Tags: clutter, ocd, hoarding, possessed, organization