Humor
Married to the Sea comics
Sep/23/08 08:53
I have been reading these comics for a long time.
There are about 700 online, and they are hilarious!
Drew takes clip art and adds hilarious captions. Love
it! He is also known for his first comic site,
Toothpaste for Dinner, that he
updates daily. Love it!
Here are a few of my favorite Married to the Sea comics:
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
That’s enough for now. Enjoy!
Here are a few of my favorite Married to the Sea comics:
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
marriedtothesea.com
That’s enough for now. Enjoy!
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Little Acts of Civil Disobedience
Jun/22/08 19:50
On the same day as my quest for chalk, I committed
two small acts of civil disobedience.
First act: I had just purchased about $50 worth of stuff from Fry's (which is a huge signal of self-restraint on my part) and there's the guy waiting by the door with highlighter in hand. Three people are queued waiting to show their Day Pass at the door so that they can get back into the Free World. I refuse to be a part of this rampant act of unnecessary (and completely unwarranted) act of detention. Did I steal anything? No. And even if I did, I haven't actually stolen it until I leave the store with it, and even then you have no right to detain me (if you're a security guard) unless you witness me performing a felony, which shoplifting is not. So, you want to see my receipt? Take down my license plate number, call the cops and report that you were witness to a crime (which you weren't because I didn't steal anything) and file a case with them. They'll say, what's the crime? And you'll say, not showing a receipt and the cops will laugh at you. They'll laugh at you just like I do as I walk out the store to my car.
Second act: I'm going to get an oil change. She asks for my name, then my address, and I say, "Look, this is just an oil change. I'm not giving you all my personal information." And she points at the computer screen (like the computer is the fucking boss) and says, "My system won't let me finish this transaction until I enter your information." I say, "OK. 123 Wonder Ave., Las Vegas, NV, 89114." Just then, a manager comes walking by and he says, "Sir, our computers require a real address." Now I know that's a bluff. You think their computer system is going to check that address against a database? No. So I say, "OK, tell me your address so I can have a real address." He says, "I'm not going to give you my address." I just smiled and shook my head. He turned to the cashier and said, "Just put in something." Score one for anonymous oil changes.
And I hear you saying, "Why do you even bother? It's not worth the trouble!" Yeah, that's the problem. Everyone just goes along and accepts "the way things are" or "the computer won't unless I..." and that makes the problem worse. More and more of our freedoms disappear slowly until we wake up and we can't go from state to state without showing a national ID card. Or without applying for travel papers that document your reasons for traveling and how long you'll be staying in the next state over when you go to visit your mom for the weekend. And they'll get so bogged down trying to analyze all that information for terrorist patterns, that it will take 4-6 weeks for them to issue the papers you need to go to Thanksgiving dinner at mom's house.
When I was in elementary school, the Iron Curtain was in place, the Berlin Wall was guarded by lots of gun-wielding guards and Soviets had to apply for traveling papers to go from city to city. And we thought that was horrible and sad and a symbol of everything wrong with Communism. Now, our government has tools the KGB and the Communist Party would have killed for, and all we can say is, "Well, everything's different after 9/11. This is a different world now." Yes, it's different. It's worse because the people who are really causing harm are doing it with good intentions and with your permission. But here's the rub: relying on the government to protect you makes you more vulnerable to attack.
I'll emphasis my point by starting another paragraph. Relying on the government to protect you makes you more vulnerable to attack.
If you rely on some entity outside yourself to protect you, you let your guard down. You relax. You don't pay attention. You don't take care of your body or take any self-defense class, because we can rely on the government, right? Did you happen to forget that this is the same government that "helped out" after Katrina? They thought the Iraq war was a good idea? That can't even make a decent road anymore? Can't educate your kids beyond what used to be a fourth-grade education (but is now called a high school graduate)? These people are incompetent. The tools they have for detecting terrorism are blunt and ham-shaped. The amount of data they have to mine is mind-boggling, which makes finding true threats exponentially more difficult, and you're telling me that if they gather more data, watch more people and have more power that somehow they'll be better at it?
Wake.
Up.
And next time you're walking out of that box store filled with Chinese widgets and sub-grade food, breeze right out the door guilt-free and excited to be leaving with your newly-purchased goods while the rest of the unquestioning, obedient, fearful citizens stand in line and act as another symbol of a dying free America.
First act: I had just purchased about $50 worth of stuff from Fry's (which is a huge signal of self-restraint on my part) and there's the guy waiting by the door with highlighter in hand. Three people are queued waiting to show their Day Pass at the door so that they can get back into the Free World. I refuse to be a part of this rampant act of unnecessary (and completely unwarranted) act of detention. Did I steal anything? No. And even if I did, I haven't actually stolen it until I leave the store with it, and even then you have no right to detain me (if you're a security guard) unless you witness me performing a felony, which shoplifting is not. So, you want to see my receipt? Take down my license plate number, call the cops and report that you were witness to a crime (which you weren't because I didn't steal anything) and file a case with them. They'll say, what's the crime? And you'll say, not showing a receipt and the cops will laugh at you. They'll laugh at you just like I do as I walk out the store to my car.
Second act: I'm going to get an oil change. She asks for my name, then my address, and I say, "Look, this is just an oil change. I'm not giving you all my personal information." And she points at the computer screen (like the computer is the fucking boss) and says, "My system won't let me finish this transaction until I enter your information." I say, "OK. 123 Wonder Ave., Las Vegas, NV, 89114." Just then, a manager comes walking by and he says, "Sir, our computers require a real address." Now I know that's a bluff. You think their computer system is going to check that address against a database? No. So I say, "OK, tell me your address so I can have a real address." He says, "I'm not going to give you my address." I just smiled and shook my head. He turned to the cashier and said, "Just put in something." Score one for anonymous oil changes.
And I hear you saying, "Why do you even bother? It's not worth the trouble!" Yeah, that's the problem. Everyone just goes along and accepts "the way things are" or "the computer won't unless I..." and that makes the problem worse. More and more of our freedoms disappear slowly until we wake up and we can't go from state to state without showing a national ID card. Or without applying for travel papers that document your reasons for traveling and how long you'll be staying in the next state over when you go to visit your mom for the weekend. And they'll get so bogged down trying to analyze all that information for terrorist patterns, that it will take 4-6 weeks for them to issue the papers you need to go to Thanksgiving dinner at mom's house.
When I was in elementary school, the Iron Curtain was in place, the Berlin Wall was guarded by lots of gun-wielding guards and Soviets had to apply for traveling papers to go from city to city. And we thought that was horrible and sad and a symbol of everything wrong with Communism. Now, our government has tools the KGB and the Communist Party would have killed for, and all we can say is, "Well, everything's different after 9/11. This is a different world now." Yes, it's different. It's worse because the people who are really causing harm are doing it with good intentions and with your permission. But here's the rub: relying on the government to protect you makes you more vulnerable to attack.
I'll emphasis my point by starting another paragraph. Relying on the government to protect you makes you more vulnerable to attack.
If you rely on some entity outside yourself to protect you, you let your guard down. You relax. You don't pay attention. You don't take care of your body or take any self-defense class, because we can rely on the government, right? Did you happen to forget that this is the same government that "helped out" after Katrina? They thought the Iraq war was a good idea? That can't even make a decent road anymore? Can't educate your kids beyond what used to be a fourth-grade education (but is now called a high school graduate)? These people are incompetent. The tools they have for detecting terrorism are blunt and ham-shaped. The amount of data they have to mine is mind-boggling, which makes finding true threats exponentially more difficult, and you're telling me that if they gather more data, watch more people and have more power that somehow they'll be better at it?
Wake.
Up.
And next time you're walking out of that box store filled with Chinese widgets and sub-grade food, breeze right out the door guilt-free and excited to be leaving with your newly-purchased goods while the rest of the unquestioning, obedient, fearful citizens stand in line and act as another symbol of a dying free America.
Links of the Week (Month, actually) - Part 2
Jan/14/08 22:59
Eclectic links for your reading pleasure below. And
with this post, I'm all caught up on the backlog!
Onward and upward from here on out!
Wheelchair-Bound Woman Dies After Being Shocked With Taser Ten Times - Yes, that's right. A 56-year-old woman. With a knife. In a wheelchair. What choice did the cops have but to Taser her ten times!
Federal Government: "We're winning the War on Drugs. Cocaine prices are higher!" Drug dealers: "It's because everyone's buying Meth now."
News Flash: War on Drugs futile.
Reactionary thinking is not the way to outsmart terrorists - From the article: "To understand what makes these measures so absurd, we first need to revisit the morning of September 11th, and grasp exactly what it was the 19 hijackers so easily took advantage of. Conventional wisdom says the terrorists exploited a weakness in airport security by smuggling aboard box-cutters. What they actually exploited was a weakness in our mindset — a set of presumptions based on the decades-long track record of hijackings.
In years past, a takeover meant hostage negotiations and standoffs; crews were trained in the concept of “passive resistance.” All of that changed forever the instant American Airlines Flight 11 collided with the north tower. What weapons the 19 men possessed mattered little; the success of their plan relied fundamentally on the element of surprise. And in this respect, their scheme was all but guaranteed not to fail."
George Orwell's original preface to Animal Farm
The world's single most comprehensive, detailed, updated, accurate, and complete source of amusement ride accident reports and related news.
Tug of War: World Champion Sumo Wrestler vs. Orangutan
Sample pages from new Intelligent Design textbook
You think using an unnecessary apostrophe is bad? You'll love these signs!
I don't know anything about the culture of cosplay (short for "costume play"), but these pics are hilarious!
Wheelchair-Bound Woman Dies After Being Shocked With Taser Ten Times - Yes, that's right. A 56-year-old woman. With a knife. In a wheelchair. What choice did the cops have but to Taser her ten times!
Federal Government: "We're winning the War on Drugs. Cocaine prices are higher!" Drug dealers: "It's because everyone's buying Meth now."
News Flash: War on Drugs futile.
Reactionary thinking is not the way to outsmart terrorists - From the article: "To understand what makes these measures so absurd, we first need to revisit the morning of September 11th, and grasp exactly what it was the 19 hijackers so easily took advantage of. Conventional wisdom says the terrorists exploited a weakness in airport security by smuggling aboard box-cutters. What they actually exploited was a weakness in our mindset — a set of presumptions based on the decades-long track record of hijackings.
In years past, a takeover meant hostage negotiations and standoffs; crews were trained in the concept of “passive resistance.” All of that changed forever the instant American Airlines Flight 11 collided with the north tower. What weapons the 19 men possessed mattered little; the success of their plan relied fundamentally on the element of surprise. And in this respect, their scheme was all but guaranteed not to fail."
George Orwell's original preface to Animal Farm
The world's single most comprehensive, detailed, updated, accurate, and complete source of amusement ride accident reports and related news.
Tug of War: World Champion Sumo Wrestler vs. Orangutan
Sample pages from new Intelligent Design textbook
You think using an unnecessary apostrophe is bad? You'll love these signs!
I don't know anything about the culture of cosplay (short for "costume play"), but these pics are hilarious!
Toothpaste for Dinner
Jan/14/08 16:18
If you've never heard of Toothpaste for
Dinner, a daily web cartoon, I feel sorry for
you. Very dry, very funny! Here's a recent one that
made me laugh all day and fits the recent political
theme around here:
toothpastefordinner.com
toothpastefordinner.com