I arrived at the Las Vegas airport this morning, and after using curbside check-in, I proceeded to the very long pre-fast-pass-at-Disneyland line for the security check-in. After waiting in the long tail of the line for about 5 minutes, I then entered the section of the line that snaked left, then right, then left and so on no less than nine times. I estimated the number of people in line for the C gates to be around 300-400 people. And there was a faster-moving line identical to mine for the D gates. So there were approximately 600-800 people in this very close area. And we haven't had our bags checked yet.

So here's my thought for the day: what if terrorists don't care about actually taking over a plane now? What if they just want to kill people? Now we've created this huge labyrinthine line that collects unchecked people in an area where there's no escape. Some man (or woman. Terrorist groups are equal-opportunity employers) with dreams of a better afterlife and a whole lot of C4 strapped to his/her chest walks in and you can probably guess what could happen. Especially if these people coordinated these attacks on several congested airports on a Christian holiday weekend. Boom.

And I'm probably going to get SSSS (a code indicating that I'm a high-level security threat requiring extensive screening) on my boarding pass from now on just for writing this.

I have recently become a fan of David Lynch's work. I enjoy his right-brain approach to art and just letting the ideas work themselves out without all of it making sense to the left side of his brain. While perusing David Lynch material on the internet, I came across this jewel:

Haven't done kettlebell in a while. Yesterday's workout felt a lot harder than it should have.

15 seconds two-hand swing, 24 kg kettlebell, 15 sec rest
10 min (20 sets)

The last three minutes really had me winded, and my forearms definitely felt it. I noticed I a tendency to bend my arms slightly to lessen the load on my forearms. Earlier workouts have caused the area right at the base of my bicep, right by my elbow, to get really sore. I think it's from the arm-bending habit. This workout I really focused on keeping my arms loose, but straight. This also led to me leaning back more at the top of the swing and really getting a good hip thrust out of it. Overall, it's an improvement on form, but my forearms were not ready for the new workload. They'll get used to it.

I have had a couple of workouts since the last post, but I didn't post them here. Still not working out as much as I'd like. I've gotten busier at work, so it's harder for me to workout during the day. As of tomorrow morning I am waking up early and working out first. The only reason I have had the momentum and the courage to face my latest obstacles is because of consistent exercise. Working out intensely and frequently really helps calm the flames of anxiety down to a manageable level. I don't want to lose that momentum now.

Since my last post, I have been reading more from Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding. IT's a helpful resource in understanding my perfectionism and how that perfectionism leads to avoidance behavior and overall paralysis. I decided to attack the problem full-on and I have focused my effort on not only clearing my spaces, but keeping them clear (which is the greater challenge). I have gotten rid of over 300 books, four boxes of clothes, and about 15 bags of trash. And I'm only getting started.

One strategy from the book that I have found immensely helpful is the idea of only dividing the things you're trying to clean up into 3-4 piles instead of trying to "organize" everything as I put it away. You saw my office in the previous post. That mess built up because of "not knowing where to put things" or "not having the time to really organize everything right now." I let go of the idea that I should do it all right the first time or never do it at all. I put all my work stuff together (still a big jumbled rat's nest of cables), had boxes for trash, a box for ebay and a box for donation. It was a LOT easier to only divide things up into just those categories while frequently telling myself that I would organize my work stuff later, after I had finished with my macro organization in the rest of the house. Before, I got way too involved in micro-organizing everything, so the job just felt overwhelming. Just having 3 or 4 categories really helped overcome the overwhelm feeling.

So I've kept you waiting for the photos. Here are the rooms after I cleaned them with no help from anyone else, which is a very important part of the process, I might add. Having help reduces the amount of responsibility you take for making the decisions about what to do with the "stuff." Not having someone else to rely on forces me to make the decisions, and face the anxiety, myself. So far so good.

Ok, ok! The pictures:



First thing I attacked was my bedroom. Got rid of over 300 books (what you see is what I kept, so yeah, I have a book thing going on).


Here's the office/workspace now. So much more comfortable! I actually look forward to going in there in the morning and closing the door. I can really focus on my work now and I enjoy it! Can you believe that?


One more view of the office.

These photos were taken about a week ago. I am happy to report that both my office and my bedroom still look like this. New personal record for cleanliness!

The new cleanliness hasn't been without problems or anxiety, however. I'll write more about that in my next post.... And I promise, I will work out between now and then, and I will post about it!

Well, I'm back! I have to admit that I have not worked out since my last entry. It's been a week, I know! That last workout fried me, and on Tuesday, I found this documentary that has changed my whole outlook. Here's the documentary:


POSSESSED from Martin Hampton on Vimeo.

I watched that video and realized that if it wasn't for Banu cleaning up after me, I could be in this documentary. There are a few areas of the house that Banu doesn't touch. This is what it looks like when I'm left to my own devices:



That's my office. I work from home, most of the time.



Another view of my desk.



The nice bookshelf Banu got me for my birthday last year.



The basement



My nice collection of boxes. Empty boxes.



My cable organization method.



My nice workbench in the garage. "Everything looks stacked up, at least." Yeah, that was Banu.



And finally, one more shot of my cable organization method.

As you can see, I have a bit of a problem. And the main reason it's not worse is because I live with a (mostly) patient type-a personality wife who does a fantastic job of cleaning up after me. There are certain areas, however, that she won't touch, and those are the areas I've documented here.

On the same day I took these pictures, I called a therapist who specializes in OCD (I have other symptoms that are on the OC spectrum) and set up an appointment with her. I also purchased this book: Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding.

I can hear some of you saying, "Don't you think you might be overreacting?" That's a fair question, but no, I'm not. If you talk to anyone who has known me for a long time, they'll tell you I've had a problem with clutter since I was about ten years old. I have also had a problem with some other OC spectrum problems, but I don't really want to go into that here.

"Why are you sharing all this stuff? It's kind of personal..." That's true, too. I am sharing it because I am excited that I finally have a string tying a lot of my personal frustrations and obstacles together. I feel empowered by the idea that I can finally understand what's going on in my brain and do something about it!

I'll keep you posted here about my progress and about what I learn.

I have already made some progress. I'll tell you more about it in tomorrow's blog!

P.S. I'll also be getting back to working out starting tomorrow!

Same old Tabata protocol:
15 seconds work (7 snatches), 15 seconds rest
50 sets (25 min). Personal record!

Light day today. We had a family jumprope session with new records!

Miray: 100
Leah: 85
Jeremy: 391
Banu: 401

That number is consecutive jumps without a flub. Everyone improved from our last attempts!

15 seconds on (9 swings) 15 seconds off
12 minutes (24 sets)

This swing session felt a lot better than the last one. I have been reading more about the swing, and employed some new refinements to my form, and it helped a lot! My fatigue level was much more manageable, and the swings felt crisper. I focused on keeping my glutes and abs tight, and that focus really helped the whole movement feel better, and less draining.

Posting this a day late, but here it is:

Warmup:
R-Level follow-along DVD from ZHealth.

Workout:
15 seconds on (7 snatches), 15 seconds off
24 kg kettlebell
40 sets = 20 min.

Tonight we had a jumprope contest. We counted jumps until a miss. Scores:

Miray: 55
Leah: 115
Jeremy: 284
Banu: no attempt

After that, Banu and I decided to try the Tabata protocol (15 sec. work, 15 sec. rest) using swings. 10 swings per work session. I used 24 kg kettlebell for first 12 sets, then switched off between 16 kg and 24 kg because I need to practice my swings a lot more! I went for 20 sets (10 minutes). Banu started with 12 kg and after 12 sets, had to help Sapphira start watching Baby Einstein. She came back for my last set and proceeded to do 20 more sets with the 16 kg kettlebell. Go Banu! The 12 wasn't really working her that hard. She was able to breathe easily and looked bored. Not so with the 16 kg! She worked hard and had to really lay into it to finish out the extra 20 sets! She's definitely in better shape than my sorry ass. Gotta work hard to catch up! I'm going to switch off every day, snatches one day, swings the next and see what I can do in the next four weeks, gain-wise.

Home from the road, which makes working out magnitudes of degree easier for me. I woke up at 9:30 this morning and went right to my computer to start working. I did not stop working until 10:00 p.m. Despite the long work day, I knew that what would help me feel better would be a good workout followed by a nice shower. The workout is behind me, but I thought I should drop a note here while I wait for my heartrate to come back down.

3 sets of 5X5 one-arm swings with 24 kg kettlebell 1 min. rest in between
3 min rest
15 sec on (7 snatches), 15 sec rest for 24 sets (12 min)

Not a really tough workout, but I haven’t been keeping a regular workout schedule for awhile, so I wanted to ease back into it. I will be home for the next month, so I'll be hitting it hard and heavy while I’m here.

Well, kids, I'm in Las Vegas shooting and editing video at the National Heads-Up Poker Championship. I have a very nice room here in Caesar's Palace. If you want to see the new Bette Midler show, get ripped off by crappy blackjack rules while you stare at pseudo-strippers in the Pussycat Dolls section of the casino, or if you just want to walk around the Forum shops, then I would definitely recommend the rooms here.

Big story of the tournament is Orel Hershiser. He's been playing poker for eight hours per day for a few months now, and got invited to this tournament. He beat Ted Forrest in the first round, Allen Cunningham in the second round and Freddy Deeb in the third round. He faced Andy Bloch in the fourth round, and I think Andy had read a scouting report on Orel, because Andy called him down more, so Orel was not able to use aggression as effectively in this match.

Orel used a baseball as a card protector, and every time he won, he had the person he beat sign the ball. When Andy beat him, he gave Andy the ball. It has been signed by Orel, Ted Forrest, Allen Cunningham and Freddy Deeb.

We're now down to the finals: Chris Ferguson vs. Andy Bloch. I just had a photographer-geek chat with a couple of the photogs hanging out here, while I wait to interview the winner.